Video game

Certain Age Gaming for January 22nd, 2015 “I’m a cannibal, but that doesn’t mean I condone Phil Fish”

Wow what a week! Or… two, I suppose. There were so many video games played this week that you’ll just have to listen to find out. I can tell you that James played Insurgency and Black Guards, Kody played Card Hunter, Hearthstone, and Pokemon Omega Ruby. There was plenty of news to speak of as well with Microsoft having a Windows 10 press conference and Harmonix sending out surveys about Rock Band!

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Certain Age Gaming for January 22nd, 2015

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Don’t Starve Together: A Lord of the Flies parody

So I picked up the Frontier pack to get in the Don’t Starve Together beta. I’ve been playing around with it for a couple of days.  As it stands it is exactly what we expected out of the upgrade; it’s a multiplayer version of the game you already know and love.  My experiences have ranged from friendly gifts of food to a starving man to being mugged in a burnt down forest.


Do not trust the mustache.

The main advantage I’m seeing out of the group is that greater obstacles are much more achievable.  The wolves on day 9 for example are nothing more than a minor annoyance to 3 people waiting in a fortified shelter with log suits and spears. At one point I even tracked down a Warg and lured back into the waiting spears of teammates…we died shortly afterwards, but we did kill the beast.  There are still a few strange bugs and trying to coordinate multiple people into a common goal is an obstacle in its own right, but at the end of the day having the advantage of several different characters at once and being able to divide your efforts into research/crafting, gathering, and hunting for food in some ways makes the game too easy.  I am fully expecting Klei to add in more difficult encounters and events into the final version of Don’t Starve Together Together to create that challenge of surviving against the wilds that we found in the original.  As it stands this is a great addition to the game that’s bringing me back to it in a big way, if you already have Don’t Starve I would highly suggest getting the Frontier Pack and start starving with your friends as soon as you can.

Children of the Nile, Bow Down Before The Pharaoh!


Enjoying a festival in my honor, while I look on, like a benevolent god-king

November 2004, that’s when Children of the Nile was published. I can’t believe it took me so long to find this game. It’s seriously addicting. If you enjoy building cities, and constructing giant monuments to your might (!) this is the game for you.  I for one, seriously love city building games and this is one of the most fun I’ve ever played.  Roads and decoration are free in this game so you can make your city pretty and well planned without having to devote resources.  The interfaces are clear and easy to use, once you get used to them.  The tutorials are really in depth and the controls and concepts are easy to pick up.

Additionally I have some tips to make your empire grow vast and powerful:


Working for the glory of Pharaoh

Enhancing my prestige, growing my crops.

That’s not to say that it’s easy to be a mighty and powerful God-King, there’s always someone whining about not having enough something…usually worship. Egypt had waaaaaaaay too many Gods. Or there’s a malaria outbreak, or bubonic plague. Those issues can be easily handled by using your first graduate to become a priest. This is crucial, actually, because only priests can educate other elite/nobles and make them into other graduates who can become overseers and scribes, and priests…etc.  The instinct is to make your first graduate a scribe, so those shifty nobles stop dodging their taxes.  Don’t. That way lies madness, and seriously sick, unhappy people.  Let the nobles get away with murder for a while and get your people some healthcare and education.  Keep in mind that you can build shrines and then switch which god is being worshiped without having to recarve (unlike a temple or cult temple) the statue.  That way, you can only build two or three shrines and switch to Osiris or Hathor or whatever your people want for that particular season or need. 

Also servants, they’re just as important, all your elite classes will hire them to shop, and luxury goods sellers will use them to gather materials.  Servants helped make  life smoother in a time before automobiles and quick transport.

Lastily, don’t worry about making sure there are no complaints ever, it’s a tall feat that’s difficult to achieve, just make sure that any one household doesn’t have too many complaints.


It’s a cheap game on steam right now, under ten bucks, and I’m sure at some point it’ll be in a bundle.  Give it a shot, it’s a fun game.

Known Issue:
Even though Children of the Nile is super old, it still crashes for some people, if you’re having problems with it crashing, set your shadows to off and your fog lower in the options menu.  Kinda a pain in the butt, but if you’ve picked it up for a couple bucks, it’s no big deal.  If after you’ve done this it’s still crashing for you, leave me a comment and I’ll give you another solution or two.


Whining Jerks

Never happy, I tell you what, like it’s hard to be a government paid priest


More servants solved this priest’s issues.  Servants and priests, they make the world go round (also: fat bottomed girls).

I Probably Didn’t Play the Game of the Year

Game of the Year time is a time for self service. I’ve spent an entire calender talking about and writing about various Video Games, be they good or bad, and now I get to tell you all why this game or that game is really the best that came out of it all year. There’s a bit of a problem with the process though.

I didn’t play all the games.


It’s not shocking I guess. I don’t own a Playstation 3 or a 3DS or Wii U and those platforms had some really great games. So when I talk about my “Game of the Year” it’s a bit disingenuous because I have no authority to name a “Game of the Year”. All of this may seem rather obvious I suppose, but when games like ‘The Last of Us’ and ‘The Legend of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds’ come out to near universal praise I feel a bit of responsibility for not playing them critically. On our own Podcast James talked very highly of the Last of Us and it’s ending and during out End of Year cast (releasing later this week). I, however, didn’t get to play it.

So what if it really is my Game of the Year and I just don’t know it?

I’m not the only one though. I’d guess that most people who write for publications didn’t play every game released over any given year. Most of the writers from Official Playstation Magazine didn’t play Card Hunter and most console gamers didn’t get the joy of The Stanley Parable or Rogue Legacy. Video Game’s most visible awards show, the VGX, still treats all of it’s viewers as if they’re 16 year old ADD riddled idiots. I do think it’s time we have a proper awards show, with suits and a subdued audience and proper voting and the like… but the medium isn’t ready for that. We still celebrate fart jokes and 5-Star wanted levels.

When a game like Gone Home is held up and compared to a game like Grand Theft Auto V then you know there’s a problem with your system.

If you’re going to participate in the masturbatory practice of GOTY then you need to understand that it’s completely subjective. Jeff Gerstmann put Divekick at #6 on his list. 4chan almost pushed an eroge game into the #1 spot of Kotaku’s GOTY. You know what all of this means? There really isn’t a best game of 2013. Just the games that I liked the most and think you should check out.

Proper criticism over time can’t come in an amalgamation. A lot of people have given awards to The Last of Us. Is that definitively the best game released in 2013? It’s impossible to know. Maybe they didn’t get to play Tearaway.

Certain Age Gaming for December 16th, 2013 “Home Invasions Are Up This Time of Year”

We were 24 hours late but in the meantime picked up Rachel for a cast! She joins us primarily to talk about Starbound but also to make fun of Kody for sucking at Dark Souls. It’s pretty much all Starbound talk all the time until news rolls around and we debate whether the disastrous Wii U numbers are toll the bells for Nintendo’s ill received console.  Other news is the Mega Man board game and the XBOX One/Playstation 4 numbers out of November.

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Certain Age Gaming for December 16th, 2013

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Certain Age Gaming for December 8th, 2013 “Everyone’s Gone to the Starbound”

Justin and James (and even Rachel) are all playing Starbound. Meanwhile Kody’s having to muck about with stupid AAA gaming like Assassin’s Creed 4 and Tearaway. James finished Red Alert 3 too somehow and we talk about all the news from the ‘Awards’ show that was VGX.

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Certain Age Gaming for December 8th, 2013

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Certain Age Gaming for December 1st, 2013 “Technical Difficulties Aren’t Just for Next Gen”

Listen, we got Justin and Kody and James and you better be happy about that! Actually it’s a bit of a short cast this week as Kody has just returned from a long trip. Despite that there’s LOTS of PS4 talk and a bit about Risk of Rain. We squeeze in a bit of XBOX One launch talk even though none of us actually own one. Really it’s just an hour of Kody gushing about Remote Play.

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Certain Age Gaming for December 1st, 2013

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